


Fame Monster (The Twitter Remix)

by TheSecondBatgirl



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Marvel 616, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-02
Updated: 2010-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecondBatgirl/pseuds/TheSecondBatgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never underestimate the power of the press. Or social media.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fame Monster (The Twitter Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [destroythemeek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/destroythemeek/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Northstar](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/593) by destroythemeek. 



_Interview that started it all_  
Q: Where did you find the inspiration for tonight's costume?  
A: You see, there was an Olympic skiier some time ago, a young man by the name of Jean-Paul Beaubier. There was some kind of scandal when he revealed he was a mutant; they may even have revoked his medal, which is completely silly if you ask me -- why are we here if not for our skills? But he later went on to great acclaim to become the superhero Northstar. My costume was inspired by the one he wore as a member of Alpha Flight.  
Q: How appropriate, for a Canadian Olympic games. Would you say Mr. Beaubier is a role model of yours?  
A: Jean-Paul has never apologized for being who he is.

_Twitter_

JubesSparkles @TheNorthstar HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT INTERVIEW?

TheNorthstar @JubesSparkles Which interview? Did Cyclops start another war while I wasn't looking?

JubesSparkles @TheNorthstar @JohnnyGWeir just said that you were his inspiration

TheNorthstar @JubesSparkles That's that flaming figure skater, yes?

JubesSparkles @TheNorthstar Yeah, he came in sixth. He was totes robbed.

TheNorthStar Apparently @JohnnyGWeir features himself to be my replacement as the fabulous gay of the Olympics. Nice try with the costume, but you can't beat out the original.

JohnnyGWeir @TheNorthstar Really, kitten, I wouldn't call myself your replacement. I'm an original.

JubesSparkles @TheNorthstar HOLY SHIT @JOHNNYGWEIR JUST @ REPLIED YOU

TheNorthstar @JubesSparkles Mon dieu, could you NOT use all caps for 5 seconds?

TheNorthstar @JohnnyGWeir Kitten? Even I'm not that gay. Well, no, I'm exactly that gay.

JohnnyGWeir @TheNorthstar Whatever you say darling xoxo

_From the Blog of Jean-Paul Beaubier_

I didn't actually bother to watch the Olympics, although it was hard to ignore. Jubilee and Hisako started flailing in a _completely_ undignified fashion whenever Apolo Anton Ohno was racing. I can see the appeal, but honestly, the speed skating is just too slow for me these days. Of course, I did end up looking at the men's figure skating costumes after Jubilee brought them to my attention, and I must admire Johnny Weir's costume. Not the one that was ripped off of me, but the black and pink corset. Now _that_ is a costume. Since apparently I need a new one because Wolverine thinks I should be a member of the X-Men, would you be interested in consulting on the design?

_Twitter_

JohnnyGWeir Well, kittens, I'm moving up in the world! Today the Olympics, tomorrow the X-Men!

JubesSparkles @JohnnyGWeir You can be on a team with me anytime!

_Transcript from an X-Men meeting_

Cyclops: Next time, Northstar, you need to ask before you start inviting people to Utopia

Northstar: Considering some of the quality of people on this island, I'm surprised you're complaining about a figure skater

Cyclops: We know nothing about him

Northstar: Really? Because Jubilee has been reciting his entire life history at me. Apparently he taught himself figure skating in a cornfield at age twelve or some nonsense like that. He could be a mutant. Have we asked him?

Cyclops: His celebrity is a reason not to let him here

Wolverine: Does that mean you're turning Dazzler out?

Cyclops: Why do you even care?

_Twitter_

TheNorthstar Apparently this @JohnnyGWeir thing is now an official X-Men mission. Personally, I think this is because Cyclops is afraid of what @JubesSparkles will do if it's cancelled.

_Email_

From: JP Beaubier  
To: Johnny

Subject: Meeting

Just so you know, some of the younger X-Men want to meet you. Please ignore Jubilee - her taste in clothing is possibly the most garish I've ever seen. And Cyclops has a giant stick up his ass, so he's probably going to try and keep you away from anything... interesting.

From: Johnny  
To: JP

Subject: Re: Meeting

I'll be there with bells on, darling!

_Press Release: Friends of Humanity_

Obviously there is more to Johnny Weir's perversion than just his orientation. We at the Friends of Humanity have been told that he is heading out to that citadel of filth and perversion in San Francisco that the mutants are calling home. We encourage all true thinking Americans to boycott any event or tour that Johnny Weir is associated with. Let him and the rest of those who feel that way see that we will not be ignored!

_Twitter_

JohnnyGWeir And I've annoyed the FOH! Don't worry, kittens, I'm not going anywhere. Besides, Stars on Ice already beat them to the boycott.

JubesSparkles @JohnnyGWeir Don't let them get you down!

JubesSparkles @XMenCyclops SEE?! RT JohnnyGWeir And I've annoyed the FOH! Don't worry, kittens, I'm not going anywhere. Besides, Stars on Ice already beat them to the boycott.

XMenCyclops @JubesSparkles I've told you before, please stop conducing official X-Men business on twitter

JubesSparkles @XMenCyclops So @JohnnyGWeir is official X-Men business now? You are so cool, don't let @TheWolverine say otherwise

_From the Blog of Jean-Paul Beaubier_

If I had known what a big deal everyone was going to make of this, I would _never_ have asked Johnny Weir to come here. Not only have I had to listen to Jubilee absolutely non-stop since that interview, but now Worthington seems to think that _BOBBY_ should be dating Johnny Weir. They could both do better.

But anyway! Speaking of dating, someone asked if I was dating Johnny. Absolutely not. Especially because Jubilee keeps going around insisting that Johnny is secretly me, except not as pretty. So dating Johnny would be like dating my twin, and I do not want to go there.

Oh, and as for the press that keep trying to get onto our island? Johnny Weir isn't here yet, and the more you camp out, the more Jubilee keeps singing Paparazzi, and I love Lady Gaga as much as the next gay man, but Jubilee cannot sing, and I cannot take it any more. Please leave so that she will stop. (Besides, Johnny won't be here for another few days.)

_Comments_

1\. Jubilee - I did NOT say Johnny wasn't as pretty as you are! I said you weren't as pretty as he was. (Also, Bobby needs to get laid. Do something about this.)

2\. Jean-Paul - @Jubilee I could think of a few things that I could do with him.

3-Bobby - I don't even want to know. And I'm not dating anyone.

4-Jean-Paul - @Bobby Is that an offer?

_Taping: Be Good Johnny Weir_

Galina [subtitled]: You are not dating this mutant boy, yes?

Johnny: I'm not dating anyone, Galina.

Galina [subtitled]: Good. You are not allowed. Now, that Russian Colossus, you will introduce us. Also, ask Dazzler about using one of her songs for a routine. You do not need a second Lady Gaga song. Now, go skate.

_Twitter_  
EvanLysacek: !!! Dazzler is coming to dancing with the stars! How awesome is that?!!!!

JubesSparkles: I love that Orange Bro is a Dazzler fan. I wonder if he's related to Cyclops somehow

TheWolverine: @JubesSparkles Don't we have enough Summers Brothers already?

JohnnyGWeir: Heading to Utopia now, kittens! See you from mutant island xoxo

_Daily Bugle_

EXPLOSION ROCKS UTOPIA  
By B Brant

The meeting of Johnny Weir and infamous Canadian mutant Olympian Jean-Paul Beaubier came to a disastrous end yesterday morning when the mutant sanctuary of Utopia was hit by an unknown explosion that could be felt in neighboring city of San Francisco. While minor explosions are fairly common on Utopia, according to many government sources, this was not the discharge of mutant powers. While there were no casualties, there were some minor injuries reported. The Friends of Humanity have released a statement saying that mutants and mutant sympathizers should not be surprised when attacks of this nature occur, although they have not taken credit for the bombing.

_Twitter_

JubesSparkles: IT WASN'T MY FAULT. I DON'T EVEN HAVE POWERS ANYMORE.

TheWolverine: @JubesSparkles Kid, calm down. Nobody is blaming you. Except for Cyclops. And possibly the media.

JubesSparkles: @TheWolverine And Frosty. Oh, and JOHNNY WEIR. I'm never going to be able to show my face in fandom again!

TheNorthstar: @JubesSparkles Why must you insist on yelling on twitter? It's bad enough that I can actually hear you screaming from halfway across the island

TheWolverine: @TheNorthstar Stay out of this, bub

TheNorthstar: @TheWolverine If I could wash my hands of this whole affair, I would have already. But apparently I'm involved now.

JubesSparkles: @TheNorthstar Whatever, it doesn't matter, my LIFE IS ALREADY OVER

TheRealMcCoy: .@JubesSparkles It appears that you've regained your powers, Jubilation. Felicitations.

JubesSparkles: @TheRealMcCoy .... WHAT?!

TheNorthstar: You know what, I'm taking Wolverine's suggestion and staying out of this one for now. Has anyone heard from Johnny anyway?

JohnnyGWeir: I'm back, kittens! The X-Men throw an amazing party. @JubesSparkles, do you want to repeat those fireworks at my next exhibition? xoxo


End file.
